Some Days Are Good

I got my project approved. Worth more than 8 M, and involving hard work, sweat, cold, tears; working with the support of my international friends, and polishing the genuine gem of my staff for over a year, it all paid off. For this particular project, there were times I doubted even myself, but what this whole two years experience taught me is to be certain. To be a good manager, one has to be certain, or admit you lack/need more information.

From Jo (my female mentor who is going to vote for Hillary Clinton):

FANTASTIC - you see, if you work hard and just keep the mission in your sight - it works for us.

I am so proud of you - I know some of the challenges and issues you face (and have faced) -you just remember that you do an awesome job, you are respected by all and we appreciate you - go girl.

It's not so much the praises that keep me up, it's understanding the lesson this challenging project taught me. The previous year, I also got a project approved, investing in 18M worth of equipment, but learned the difficult way to earn it. These days are good because we are reaping from that investment and collaborative work. I learned about power and psychology the last 2 years, and now they are feeding me to the lion's den, the principal's office. Remember the lesson, be certain. Don't falter, even if someone is playing the devil's advocate.

******

He congratulates me, shakes my hand and gives his final seal of approval. Finally, after 2 years 5 months, I am promoted. I do my own appraisal, design the org structure, restructure the pay for the division and up to now I am waiting for the papers, both for my people, and for me. If he doesn't deliver, I will be gone..gone..gone..

******

And so I finally admitted to myself, and to him, that I think I have learned the lesson I needed to learn. I chose not to pick him up, because if I do, who will be picking up after my mess?

******

And then one day my badminton homecourt has finally closed shop. This is a sad moment for me- this was where all the healing happened. My stress, depression, anger, frustration, all these were channeled as my hits got stronger until finally, my strings get broken,and I find myself laughing out loud for my mistakes, where I have been religiously playing the past 4 months, and recently, even playing doubles with stangers.Now it's gone. And Ronel, my trainer,my friend will be back in his hometown, trying something new. It's strange how someone I barely know can be of so much help, and turn out to be a good friend. He plays with me because he knows I cry at night, so he would push me to go play with him, four times a week for four months. And then I find myself happier. Maybe God is telling me to move forward. But in the meantime, we continue to play before he leaves on the 12th. Today we played at Valencia, and today is a good day.