You Changed My Life

One fine Saturday, my friends and I drove up to Tagaytay. C and R were riding with S, who brought along Simon, his beloved beagle. Although I was rushed to the emergency room the previous night for a serious bout of diarrhea ( a crab and asparagus sandwich is the culprit), and I was clad in pajamas, I still insisted on going since we have been planning this trip for 3 weeks. The guys wanted to relax, wanted to play poker, and wanted to see Simon. I was praying the whole drive that my system stabilizes, and by the time we were at Josephine's, I felt better. It must be the greenery surrounding me: the lush green foliage, the sight of my friends out in the open air on a lazy Saturday morning. The air, the fresh air, amidst the sunny morning.

We lunched in the outdoors, under several white tents, with a Filipino buffet spread, the highlight of which is the grilled meat and fish, and decent dessert choices. I had no interest in food at that time, but I was able to eat a little. Later on, I had halohalo, and by the end of a relaxing 2-hour lunch, my stomach was less weary, and I was calmer.

We were gazing at how happy the temperament of a beagle is. S tells us how his world changed when he decided to get a dog. I remember he was very particular about his condo unit, and is a stickler in the furniture and fixtures that he puts in. All these were thrown out the window once Simon entered his life. He is like a doting and proud parent. I told him I envy him, and that I wanted to have a baby too. Now na.

His reply, " In God's time, mare."

A Burger Party for Mike

Bea who is in Dubai, YMs, asking me to take care of Mike's birthday. I tell her not to worry, but I will just send her the bill. In jest of course. We are always looking for a reason to celebrate, and to get intoxicated.






So on a Wednesday night, L and I went over to Kingspoint to Uncle Pards' place. Sid and L started the barbecue. I brought over some Pepper Lunch burgers. They were a hit, of course!


What are the best burgers in town? I can name a few: Malcom's Place which I rank the top, followed by Pepper Lunch (a favorite menu I order is the #11 combo). Do you have other ideas as to the best burger in town?






There was beer, and there was pork bbq, pancit Malabon. We also had empanada, and I bought Mike Mango Bravo from Conti's.















Yes Bea, I made him wish.









I wish he'd cut his hair na. Hehehe.

Welcome The Year of the Ox!

So where were you last night at the celebration of the first day of the Year of the Ox? We were invited to a dinner at the Summer Palace, where the highlight of the evening was a Dragon and Lion dance performance by the Philippine Ling Nam Athletic Federation.





By 8:30 PM drums started to beat, fireworks were set and everyone gathered at the lobby where 5 lions were dancing and a dragon was chasing a fireball.


According to Wikipedia, and my Chinese friend, we were seeing a Chinese southern lion dance, which is said to be symbolic and is usually performed as a ceremony to exorcise evil spirits and to summon luck and fortune. "The southern lion exhibits a wide variety of colour and has a distinctive head with large eyes, a mirror on the forehead, and a single horn at center of the head. The lion dance also symbolises the myth of the Chinese new year. The Lion dance is often confused with the Chinese Dragon Dance, which features a team of around ten or more dancers. The Lion Dance usually consists of two people."






The Philippine Ling Nam troupe is well-known and they make sure to adhere to the old customs. For instance, lion dancers would first visit the temple before they make their way to the store front of businesses. The business would tie a red envelope filled with money (ang pao) to a head of lettuce and hang it high above the front door.



The lion will approach the lettuce like a curious cat, consume the lettuce and spit out the leaves but not the money.




The lion dance is supposed to bring good luck and fortune to the business and the dancers receive the money as reward. The tradition becomes a mutual transaction. At the Shang (and in our office) we saw that lettuce/pechay and oranges tied in the ang pao. These were used to create pseudo barriers and challenges.




The Philippine Ling Nam troupe is composed of young boys and girls, who interchangeably beat the drums and do the dance, presumably ranked according to their performance and experience. Each lion is guided by one student,as the lion makes its way across the narrow halls, in between tables and maneuvering amongst the sea of people who wanted to have their picture taken with them.



The lion dancers, the white and pink lions were playfully eating the oranges, and after they spit out orange peels, re-arranged the stack of oranges to form the symbol of gold, signifying that in exchange for the ang pao given by the Shang, more wealth will come their way.










Of course, while at Summer Palace, one can only expect the best Chinese dishes.








Can I just tell you what the menu was?




Fried shanghai dumplings
Steamed pork siomai with shrimps
Fried mango shrimp rolls
Whole suckling pig







Shark's fin soup with crabmeat
Fried king prawn balls coated with cornflakes





Braised fookien rice
Beef tenderloin with black pepper sauce
Chopped piglets
Fried efu noodles with straw mushrooms, kuchay and scallops
Soft shell crabs with oatmeals




And for dessert--


Chilled lemon grass jelly with sherbet
Fried tikoy with taro potatoes
Sweet potato pastries




I kid you not. Here is the menu as proof.


























But then again, I know you believe me.

XOXO,

A


Thanks S1! That was indeed, a meal to remember.

Blast From The Past

This early, I have been to two wakes and one reunion. Last night was both a reunion (again) with elementary classmates from the accelerated class of 1986 and a wake for my friend Tetch's dad, an artist who passed away at 65, before he could paint my portrait. This time, we managed to bring in two new (old) faces, Jen, an IT professional working at the Fort and Vicki, who is set to return today to Ireland where she works as a nurse. Again, we tried to remember our special class lineup, and I admitted that I still could not remember some of the names of my former classmates. We were just 29, this special class, plucked from the many regular classes of Manila's public schools, to be placed in an accelerated class with a special curriculum and a whole day of schooling. At lunchtime, I looked up at the photo I grabbed from Roel (from where else, Friendster), and I still could not place the names of some of my classmates. We were also unable to trace some of our classmates, but our get togethers are becoming bigger, and soon, we hope we can get in touch with all.

Ok, Raffy and Tetch, you have to help me name names here:

Top row: May* (Alan remembers her), Riel, Sharon*, Cecil (flight attendant), Amor*, Bernadette (nurse in London), Masherry*, Bernardo (Seaman)

3rd row: Vicki (nurse in Ireland), Jen (IT, Philippines), X1* (I don't know her!), me (hahaha), Tetch (Marketing Manager, Dubai), Y1* (don't know him!)

2nd row: Y2* (whos this guy?), Roel (dakilang guro, our e-group moderator ahem),Raffy (Big Boss, US), Marcus (nurse, US), Alan (engineer), Clarence (in the US)

Front row: Jennifer*, Annaliza, Zenaida, Mrs. Nakpil, Ms. Maranan (wonderful teachers), Joy* (tama ba?), Mel, Rhoda* (in Brunei)

*- without a trace


Do you know what we talk about when we meet up?

That we had a happy childhood!

1.Do you sing as a class when you pass your papers? Apparently, we did.
2.Do you sing as a class when you change subjects? Apparently, we did!
3.Climb Every Mountain, an inspirational song from an inspirational teacher, di ba Raffy?
4.We had an art class,and we did an exhibit at the Children's Library Museum.
5.The boys spent saturday swimming at the YMCA with our alternate teacher.
6.Did you have the best teachers? We certainly did!



Photo taken from our last reunion a year ago: Alan, me, Riel, Tetch, Roel, Cecil.

To B

regular bold font- an actual letter to the ex of a friend who's being set up for a blind date
in italics- my spoof

To: b2002@yahoo.com

Hello, Jose Norman, aka B, aka the Lucky
Bastard who will get to date xxx,

Goodness, your address is so six years ago!

(Gawd! This girl likes you. She really, really likes you!)

Anyway, as promised, i'm sending you your date's pic.
She's the girl in the brown collared blouse, next to
dude wearing a white and red blouse. . . este shirt
(sorry, the choker threw me off ;p). I told you she's
pretty.

(Translate: Brown, plain, bo-ring. Hair: no color, no stylist. Read: low maintenance gal. Timid, tentative smile, ay shy, dalagang Filipina. Hmnn, type? Pero wiz, beware of the friends she keeps (the choker dude). As my gay best friend once told me, "Wag mo palalabasin ang kaibigan mo na hindi ayos. It will reflect on you!")

Her name is XXX, she's working at the XXX now
but she used to work sa XXX. She's taking a master's
degree in Business Administration in XXX. She likes
to eat and she likes to read (i'm not sure if she does
both at the same time). She has read Lord of the Rings
and the entire Harry Potter series. She has a gifted
nephew who was able to read two novels in one day (so
you know her genes are very good ;p). I don't really
know if she likes walking on the beach during sunset,
I figure it's better if you be the one to ask.

(My gosh! B, pare, di ko alam important pala sa yo to have super duper genes. I have also read the H. Potter Series, The LOTR plus The Hobbit. Sometimes I read and eat at the same time, but I sometimes I also poop and read at the same time. (I think that's the best reading position, when one is full of intense concentration). But you know what, B, my friend D is so amazing and has the healthiest sense of self-esteeem there is, pramis! That means your kids will most likely be fabulous, no matter what size, shape and colour they turn out to be. And sos, you like walking on the beach during sunset pala? My friend D will even sing you songs acapella while walking along the beach holding hands at paswing swing pa! And since she will make partner na at The Firm, you can even select from the many beaches around the world! Bongga di ba?)

As a sign of good faith and ultimate transparency, i'm
cc'ing her so she can make the proper corrections to
the facts stated above.

Mwah to the both of you!

EXCITED NA AKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a friend

(Sos. If I knew you would be sending my blind date my picture, I would have chosen a really nice picture, preferably one taken with me wearing a tube top and pussy red nail polish. Duh!)

(P.S. O.M.G. She really, really likes you, this "friend". Pero hardsell, pare.)

Yearender Dinner

I am always grateful for the kind of friends I have. My christmas dinner with ex-fujitsu friends were spent last night at Terry's Selection at the Podium, and when I got home I was pleasantly suprised to get a 2007 yearender letter from Cha to her family and friends. What a wonderful way to share the work of God by sharing how the Lord is working on their lives. To Rico and Cha, you are a great example for all of married couples. I would like to share her letter:

Christmas 2007

Dear Family, Friends and Loved Ones,

As we celebrate Christmas, we pray for all of you that the season will bring great joy and blessings to you and your kin. Jesus is our faithful Lord. May the celebration of His birth allow us to be thankful for the many blessings we receive in Him.

We would like to share with you how the Lord is working in our lives. Here are some of the highlights of the Bautista's 2007.

Our Tatay was blessed tremendously in his work. His passion for excellence, impeccable work ethics and unparalled discipline brought him to be one of the youngest if not the youngest executive in Philam. He continues to be zealous in his work wanting to give glory to God in all that he is doing. He is also the President of Rotary Club of Silangan for the year.

Our Nanay still teaches in UST. She was blessed to have completed several programs in Financial Planning including the Registered Financial Planning Course of RFP International. She is awaiting her certification from SEC to become a licensed Investment Company Representative. She looks forward to expanding her teaching career to giving seminars in line with personal finance.

Yobel is well adjusted to her new school at Miriam College Grade School. Earlier in the year, we have discerned as a family whether to move her from Cradle of Joy, our community's Catholic Progressive school. As part of the discerning process, we remember one of her insights as a young child, she said ," In Cradle I have many friends, in Miriam, I can have more friends!"

It was a year of outpouring of blessings for her. During the summer, she had her 1st recital in Voice. She recently won 3rd place in an inter-school Filipino story-telling competition where there were 81 contestants from Grade 1-Grade 3. She had her 7th birthday celebration with family and friends. And she received her First Holy Communion last Nov.29.

Ysabel (my inaanak) continues to grow as a child. She has matured in several ways at the age of 3. She communicates well, loves to sing and dance (especially with her Ate Yobel, the two of them performed a dance number to the visitor's delight in Yobel's birthday celebration). She looks forward to having her ballet lessons soon.

We are now expecting to have our 3rd baby girl. With God's grace, she will be with us earliest mid-jan or early feb. We are intending to name her Yairabel Chrystelle, Yaira, which means to illuminate (hebrew) and Bel, similar to her two Ates meaning "beautiful".

Our family wishes you a Blessed Christmas and a Bountiful New Year. May you always find the true meaning of Christmas in Jesus. We pray for your spirit-filled life, healthy being and successful endeavors. Amen.

Our love and prayers,
Rico, Charmz, Yobel and Ysabel

Inspiring isn't it? Charmz is always an inspiration. I will make my year-ender highlights tomorrow, or in the busy-ness of the Christmas eve. I need to do this. Abangan!

Darna Diaries

It saddens me that you have gone out of my life
The sudden quietness, the long absence,
This shadow of darkness is so little compared to your presence
How does one say goodbye to someone whose presence added a sparkle in my life?
But yes, you must say goodbye to the past in order to face the future.

I understand it is for the best
The story may be long, the pain may be fresh,
But you must go and lead her to find happiness.
I am grateful for the time we shared,
So thankful for the meaningful friendship.
Let us not be sad, but rejoice those moments.

30Something Thinking

distract me,
talk to me about anything, something
confuse me, silence me
with your words,
swirling thoughts...

Before I could get distracted by myself, my call master message tone beeps.

M:12 hours of alcohol. Fun. If i were still in college. Fuckit.

Me: So you're lasing and texting me huh. I'm trying desperately to distract myself from calling the ex

M: Fuckit. Yoko na uminom. And no, october is best spent with non exes. So zip it. ü

Me: Am seated at the throne, writing,nothing coming out (of the writing, and the throne). I just want a dreamless uninterrupted sleep m. Is that too much to ask? Maybe if I drown myself with wine I can. I will.

Me: I'm not calling him or seeing him. It's the brain, confused from lack of sleep. Why am I so stupid when it comes to men? Powtah,gimme some of that beer..

M: Try staring into black empty space.

Me: I definitely have the wrong cd on. Sade will not lead me to black empty space

M: 30mins worth lang of a playlist ha.

Me: Dude bakit may time limit?

M: At the 31st min tulog ka nyan.

M: Try Portishead. ü (the "obscure" CD I asked him to burn for me- a collection of songs from unknown artists. Turns out I have a cd of portishead circa 1998.)

Me: Its not working. And portishead leads me to an abyss. I don't get them. Hahaha

M: Not getting them is good. If you're able to relate, you process. Otherwise its just ambient noise. Take it from a recovering insomniac.

Me: But it is noise. Like the dead calling out to some poor soul to come join them in the abyss.

M: Hehe. U wanted obscure. ü

Me: My lullaby songs these days are Apo-the Original Hit Songs, 10 Years Together and Banda Rito. But my heart is thumping now.

M: Apo! Pakshet thought provoking. As bad as the Hotdogs and VST and Co...For best effect I listen to lounge music. With the subwoof to full.

Me: Nah. Bores me with their sing songy melody. But when I'm awake I love them. Is that weird?

M: Not at all!

Me: Pare for someone who's lasing, your grammar and spelling are still ok. You're very coherent. Inum ka pa

M: You're monitoring my grammar?!

Me: Relax. There's nothing wrong with it.

Me: Ahh. I get it. He's (the ex, there, drinking) with you.

M: Ha! Am with a girl.

Me: Uhmnnnn..then why are you texting me. Panget yan noh.

M: Sos. I do it under the table.

Me: Ok, boring sya. Maganda sya pero boring sya.

M: Korek.

Me: Hahaha. Kakatawa ka. That's good though. Am totally distracted.

****
This is my friend M, who, somehow, ends up texting me when he's drunk, or thinking of getting drunk. Then he disappears...into the abyss once more. I like his short appearances, though. Stimulating.

Goodbye John

I was cleansing my inbox when I saw this poem I wrote in August 2004 for my good friend John, who died at the age of 31 of liver cancer. I wrote this while I was 38,000 ft up in the sky amongst the clouds, and thought of him, after attending his wake.


May the Lord be with you and guide you
As you walk towards the garden of eden
Would you make a stop at the clouds on your way to heaven?
It looked good from up there-all white and blue
Not a view of the earth's madness

Would you bounce or fly past through the fluffy clouds
--without the fear of falling?
Would you be happy?
Where would you go?
Would you stop and linger before moving on
--onto the garden where upon entry
only the most soulful music can be heard?

That is home.
Where your forefathers await you,
telling you not to worry
because you have lived a good life,
and God wants you back.

There you will walk amongst the flowers that we take
for granted here.
There you will stop and smell the tulips, roses and
orchids.
What would you do John?
Would that remind you of love?
Would you regret not having to say goodbye to her?
You were so good, and so brave, 'til the end.

Sadly, we watched you sleep with tears in your eyes,
When we last saw you, you were full of life,
always with a huge and ready smile,
excited over your future.

Gone too soon.
But not in our hearts.
May your soul rest in peace. God calls, and it is your time.

****
Postscipt:Cancer of the liver is only detected at its late stages (unless one undergoes annual executive check-up), as the liver has no nerves that send signal to the brain that there is pain. People with hepatitis are 60% susceptible to having liver cancer.

P.P.S.
He died after proposing to his long-time girlfriend Claude, who finally decided to come home from Singapore to make their wedding plans. He died within a few months of her coming home.

The Lawyers, The Doctors and The Groupie

" Hello po doktora," the ladies at the lobby greet me and DEP, as we enter the corporate center at Roces, in QC. Now that's a first, but who could blame them? We were crashing a private party hosted by Unilab, apparently for doctors. I am kaladkarin these days and after my meeting with Warner Brothers at the Top of the Citi, decided to forego my badminton and accompany my lawyer/singer friend jam with a band.

Why not? DEP used to be our choir president, and pre-law, was part of UPSA. She has perfect pitch and when she posted that blog about jamming with an opposing counsel one rainy night, which turned out quite well, I wanted to listen to see her sing with a live band. The band's called Paradigm Shift, and their regular gig is in Fairview, singing amongst friends and select get togethers. All men in their 40s to 50s, their repertoire is of a bygone era and include songs that our fathers sing- titles by America, Crazy love, Sometime, Blowin in the wind, Don't Think Twice,It's Alright, The Lady Wants to Know,Dreams by fleetwood mac,written by stevie nicks,Tatooed on my Mind, and a sprinkling of contemporary songs (With or Without you, Crazy For You, Especially for You, Smooth, Nightbird),OPM (Next in Line,Harana, Wherever You Will Go), and even a dose of reggae, (which sorely reminded me of somebody).

The gig pays like nothing, and while I sat at the table enjoying a free dinner and San Mig Light, I noticed how these men must love music. Mon, the rat pack's leader is the lawyer by day and band leader by night; he owns the equipment and pays the 6 guys a measly fee because a small fee divided by 7 is nothing, sometimes he himself pays the guys (for probably indulging his band fantasy). But I get it. The other guys are school bus drivers, or musicians who have other gigs, artists who aren't good enough to have record labels, but they are still out there doing what their heart tells, yearns for them to do.

"What's the point of doing something if you can't be so good at it?," we asked, but we can be so judgemental sometimes! Indeed, as I sing along, bobbing my head to the music, I noticed the band play with their hearts on their sleeves, I see the point to this. They are doing something they love, and nothing else matters. At that particular moment, they are in the zone, capturing the essence of probably their existence, when making music is just like breathing: you do it not because you want to, but you need to. How could you not?

I recall that when we entered the lobby and registered, denying that we were doctors, the receptionist told her peers that DEP is not a doctor, but a lawyer, supposedly clarifying things up from the confused look of the ushers and usherettes. But they were even more confused when we said we're with the band. A lawyer in a doctor's affair, and singing? It didn't matter, and we didn't even bother to ask what the group was doing-selling medicine to doctors, tollpackers of
muconase,nutricap,amino vita softgel capsules or med reps entertaining their doctor-clients.

Sometimes it's better not to ask questions, to and just enjoy the moment.

Caleruega

He brought me there one time at a stage in our lives when we were both exploring in our minds the idea that there may be something there. I remember being picked up, driven to Tagaytay and like so many times in the years of knowing each other, there was a pleasant surprise. One time I showed him the view of the 20th floor in Ortigas, and he remembered that moment and wrote that to me years later. However, it was him who was always making me notice "moments", oftentimes because of new places he introduces me to. He showed me how to dance, how to feel appreciated, how to love myself and be proud of myself, and he would often tell me how he liked my smile.



So that afternoon he took me to Caleruega to see the Chapel of Transfiguration. I think he was trying to tell me something, or maybe nothing, but he took pictures of me that day. We spent the day talking, but maybe we were asking what was in our hearts that day. We spent a moment in prayer, asking the Lord to guide us, thanking Him for this moment, thanking Him for this friendship.

Later, he showed me the fountain and told me to make a wish. I don't remember what I wished for that day. I think it had something to do with the other man in my life.
I think Robert did not get the sign he was asking for on that December day, but God granted him his wish.

Robert and I have remained friends over the past 13 years. He is among my few friends whom I can literally call for anything. In life, we all need friends like him. Today I opened my email and I saw pictures of his little girl Yonee. He is so proud of her, and she is growing up to be a beautiful girl.

The Mistress, The Mother and the Mentor

After more than 6 years in the Philippines, C.P. bid me adieux yesterday. As usual, our conversations start off with him asking me if I know of any news or rumors. In fact, he asked me if I knew anyone who was getting something from somebody. When I asked why, he got mad and asked me why ask why, when I knew it was wrong. He told me about this person but I couldn't say anything because I didn't have any idea nor heard any rumor.

He asked me how I was doing, and just like that, my eyes welled up in tears and he began looking for a tissue. I composed myself and told him, it is hard for me. He begins to tell me that the same thing happened to his sister, so his sister left for the States and that is where she met her husband. He tells me about his previous boss whose wife called him early in the week to ask him about her husband's affair here in Manila. He tells me how this affair led his boss to unprecedented embarrassment in his home country where most people learned about it from his previous lover who called the head office to tell her tale, out of revenge.

"So you see, i know it is hard, but even married couples have problems. My wife sometimes does not talk to me for 3 months and tells me to get lost. The other lesson is, you can overcome this, as my sister did, and a lot of other people."
" All the men I know have affairs. The only difference is, some of the wives know, some don't. You see, men think with their little heads. They are like kids. Men actually need mothers as wives, not the mistress. The mother/wife type would tell the guy to go to hell and then go on with their lives if their men can't commit or can't offer marriage. The mistress would always need pampering and need to be secure. Men don't always want that. "
When I pointed out that the reason these unfaithful men stay in their marriage is probably because they have the mistress, he said, "Exactly."

He then paused to think about his life, and wondered aloud," I should have a mistress. I should have another relationship. But the problem is my wife won't leave me...."


I knew there was some truth in his statement, but at the same time know him to be stronger than this, and has actually resisted temptations many times. He told me to let my man go, and if he comes back, then it is meant to be. On the other hand, I should be thankful he did this now, painfully,so I can still meet the right man for me.

" You know, you can be a mistress. "
There was dead air- I was feeling the tension, but there was actually, none. We both know each other so well.
" Either you change your self, or you change the men in your life."
********

At 39, his life is so comfortable even he is half-hearted in returning to his home country. But he said that is why he needs to go back.
" I don't want to go back. I need to go back. When life becomes too comfortable, convenient, therein lies the trouble. You have to live your life by taking risks, by embracing change. If you stick in your current comfortable phase in your life, how will you grow? How will you continue to evolve into someone better, richer in experience, and how can you reach for what is the best for you? Remember that. If there is one lesson in life I want you to remember, it is this. Take risks in your life. Accept, welcome change. "

I tell him he is going to be a great father to his wife's first child, a child after 12 years! What a joy and victory. He expressed disappointment at not having a daughter and kidded that he'd have this with another woman.

Ahh. That's him all right. All talk and no action when it comes to women.

Friends Forever with Ime

Robert and I arrived at the Greenbelt 3 around the same time, parked at the same area but he parked his Club1 BMW faster than I did my Honda HRV. Hey, I was parallel parking- and I'm a girl. Anyway, you can tell when someone is your friend when they'd wait for you and tell you you did a good parallel parking job. Then they'd wait for you while you retouch your make-up before alighting the car. Ha-ha. Women are incorrigible. We have more white matter on our brain cells.
















Cielo: Dinner alert! Ime is here from Malaysia on a limited engagement. Don't miss it! Dinner at MASAS, Greenbelt 3, 7ish PM. Bring your happy self!

Other attendees: Robert (actively dating), Robert (happily married and proud dad), Cha ( still unabashedly madly inlove with her honey, after having 2 kids with him), Ime (the lady/balikbayan of the moment)





We were shocked, amazed at how Ime has lost weight, and looked gorgeous. She really did. This is the reason why we women want to be thin. The chin comes outprominently, making the face look softer, more feminine;the waist creates curves and gives a shapely silhouette- wearing the right dress makes the waist even tinier. Sunken cheeks emphasize the eyes, illuminating the rest of the face. I had the same reaction to a girl from the office who took Reductil 15mg daily for a month, and subsisted on butong pakwan and water when she got hungry. She just looked like a different person, a really lovely girl who took time to create a look- she wore earings and blouses compared to when she just wore jeans, rubber shoes, had no make up on and basically just let herself go. Ok I have to stop raving about Ime, but guys, I have an assignment to search for 2 dates for my girlfriends and 1 gorgeous "young" girl for Robert.

Back to Ime. Even amazing was her story of how she completed a 21 km run, in 2.5 hours in, Malaysia, in what is otherwise known as a HALF-MARATHON FINISH. I've never had a friend who ran the marathon, or half-marathon. We're so proud of her who told us though she kept going to the gym regularly, she didn't touch the treadmill, didn't go on practice jogs, or even a 2-km run. She had nobody to run with (not a marathon buddy, not her sister, not her close friend), just her trainer who literally left her on her own pace. Her officemates in Kuala Lumpur told her they encouraged her, but told her, it will not be surprising if she would not be able to finish her run.

"What kept you going?" we were all eager to hear the story.
"I was tired after running for an hour across the road which was treading up and down a hill, and I asked God why I'm doing this. Why am I running in a marathon, in Malaysia, on a very hot day?" "I could not understand it myself, and when I finished the run, I could not believe I did it. I was only able to do it because I asked God for strength. I prayed and prayed while I ran. Otherwise I would not have finished." Have you ever heard someone tell a story like that? We were in awe.

Later she also told me how her friend from the office supported her with her gym efforts. Her friend was pregnant and does not accompany her to the gym but she would ask how Ime did at the gym that day, supported her in her choice of food and would always encourage her. When Ime went on a vacation in HK and regained the pounds she lost in the gym, the friend did not reprimand her but told her she'd go right back and lose it, and then some more. I thought this was a marvelous friend. A friend supports us in our endeavors, and they are the first ones to realize how important certain things are for us, and they would be there however which way they can, with positive reinforcement, moral support and encouraging words. Ergo, the theme of the night to "bring your happy self. " Stay away from nasty people. If you feel bad being around somebody, that somebody's not good enough for you.


While we partook of the pritchon, sinigang na baka, sisig, bicol express, grilled tuna belly and the boneless crispy pata, the HOTSEAT was thrown from one party to the other. The topic: The Ex

After all these years, we were only able to openly ask and tease each other about the ex without the fear of doing it openly becoming too painful. Any breakup is painful, and our thoughts flowed from one type of breakup to the other.
Can exes become friends?
Why do some people find the need to reach out after a breakup, the nerve, and why being dedma may work.
Why do some people, however good they are, really act like jerks in relationships, in my relationship?
Can one accept an invitation to be ninang to the friend's ex?
Can one accept an invitation to be friendster to the friend's ex?


The whole night was light and enjoyable, we had wine at Uva's which turned out to be disappointing only because they close at 11, so we decided to go to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf to sit down and cool down. We didn't order this time, and decided to spend the night at Armi's, no Cielo's, no Charmz's place to continue girl talk. We could have yakked all night, but my late nights with Tita Carmina and Tita Vicky (more on that later) were catching up on me, and I finally dozed off at 2 AM. Yobel's whispers and Ysa's "Nanay" woke us up at 6:30 AM, but their kiss and tight hugs made our day special.



MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6945/1374/320/Photo-0010.jpg" border="0" /We thank you Lord God for the gift of friendship, for giving us this wonderful blessing. For this chance to journey through life with people who supported us once when we were young and naive, and still have them with us, supporting and loving us after 16 years.

You have blessed us with good things and plenty, and surrounded our table with friends.

May we continue to inspire and share our goals and accomplishment with others, though this can be few and far in between, and though we are nation's apart. Help us to learn how to become more supportive of our friend's endeavors, and lead each other to a path to growth.

20 Years Later: A Reunion with my Elementary Classmates

A wonderful thing happened last Friday. After our strategic planning session in Tagaytay, I arrived in Manila at around 5 PM, rested a bit and showered before meeting Riel and my other elementary classmates.
I have not seen Marites, Melissa, Riel or Alan in 20 years. All of us graduated in 1986, and most of us have not seen each other since. This year however, Riel brought us all together when she tried to locate each one of us through, what else- Friendster. Little by little we saw each other, remarked at how we looked the same, maybe better after all these years. Most of us were only 11 years old when we graduated in elementary. We were a part of the accelerated class of P.Burgos Elementary School in Manila. We had full day classes in our last 2 years of elementary, and we were exposed in art, drama, science, debate, math competitions from other schools in the region. Some of us were featured on TV, had an exhibit at the children's museum, and had to speak in English at all times otherwise we get fined. I was student number 12, according to Tetch ,who now works as a marketing-ops manager at a retail store in Dubai, and she remembered most of the names of our classmates. There were 9 boys and 19 girls. Riel was our valedictorian, Marites our salutatorian, Alan our 1st honorable mention, Raffy (where is Raffy?) 2nd honorable, and moi, 3rd honorable mention.
Exhibit A- our recognition day newsletter, and compare with how each one of us looks now. This picture is a blast, and although I run the risk of losing my 200+ blog readers (mostly my friends of course) because of an unglamourous mug shot, there is a reason why Riel kept the old newsletter clipping, scanned it and sent it via YM. Of course, if I was valedictorian, and lost all those baby fats, and the pigtails,i'd scan the newsletter too.
In less than 20 minutes before I arrived, Riel and Tes have covered the essentials- Tes' lovelife and even a bit of mine. When I said my hellos and started talking, Mel was pleasantly surprised to remember my (teeny, weeny) voice. Except I am much more talkative these days. Case in point, I talked them over to eating at Pagliacci (silent g) if they wanted great pasta. They did, and ended up chatting with the italian owner and Chef Maurizio Gibillini. But Tes is the most daring, she had more gumption than me, asking all sorts of personal questions and then asking for a vinaigrette to accompany our ciabatta. Chef Maurizio tells us, "That is not real Italian. That is American- Italian. Like Italiannis, you know? They go to Italy and copy our food, and what do you get? Pizza Hut! Taste this, this is better. Eggplant, crushed and blended with spices, and a tomato salsa with olive oil."
Chef Maurizio gives us a website if we wanted to get the real vinaigrette, which he says, would cost us US$50 dollars per 500ml bottle. He would, every now and then interrupt our animated conversation, but only to remind us to eat before our pasta gets cold and the cheeses would make the linguine to stick to each other, or to eat our gelato before it melts.
We find ourselves eating our mixed greens with anchovies as Riel talks about her numerous jobs to her 3 boys, a theatre director husband and 2 loving sons, and her current work as a sponsorship and communications manager for SAVE THE CHILDREN. She is 6 months pregnant on their first baby girl, and she looks stunning for a pregnant woman. Thoughout our 4-cheese and tavolara pasta (pasta in crab fat, tomato sauce and olive oil), Tes regales us with a story on why she is still single, and recounts what its like to date European men, while I tell the story of my life (and remark at how bad my memory is, compared to Tes' at least). Melissa works at Crowne Plaza, so I tell her do friends get discounts on their renowned buffet meals? Mel winks as she hands each of us her card and tells us to call her. By then, we thought Alam would stand us up, but he makes it in time for our pistacchio/hazelnut and mango ice cream. All of us did not recognize Alan as he has gained weight (he was really skinny in elementary), but the familiarity of his wit and intellect is still there, now with street smarts, or as he calls it,"buguy-bugoy". Mel and Alan (who now goes by the name of Milan) each have a son. Alan is an electrical engineer and now works for a Japanese firm. Tes, Alan and Raffy all went to Manila Science High School where I was also supposed to attend, but Mama wanted me to study with the sisters at Imma, so anyway, I wondered if I would have been a different person had I studied in MaSci and then off to UP. It is only sometimes that I wonder, because here and now, looking at my former classmates,achievers all, I remember how I really enjoyed school (not in a nerdy way).
We were a select few, who passed through rigorous exams, all coming from different schools, to be a part of that accelerated class. School was competitive, and most of were poor, but that didn't affect how we treated each other at school. Now, there are classmates like Marcus and Bernadette who are nurses in the US, and UK, respectively. We marvel at how good our teachers were then. In fact, we attribute our habits to these teachers who instilled discipline and taught us we can be anyone we'd like to be.
Has it been 20 years? Chef Maurizio told us we looked like we were in our 20s, and that is believable, actually. He caps our dinner when he talked about his married life.
"What do you like about your Filipina wife?," Riel asks.
"I like her when she zips her mouth," replied Chef.
We laugh as we make our way out of Pagliacci.

Boys, Birthdays, Babies

On my Inbox, the ultrasound picture of Yoy and Robert Mostert's first baby. It seeemed just like yesterday when Robert first met Yoy on a coffee date (For my young ones- this is a safe first date. It can be cut short if the guy starts to freak you out, but the invite can be extended over to dinner if there is chemistry). Anyway, that was ages ago, fastforward to the news of the wedding in Netherlands. Then Yoy celebrated her birthday with us while her papers were being completed. We bought Kink Cakes and asked Yoy if Dutch treats are uhmnn..like those (see picture). She just smiled, but had no trouble posing for picture when we asked her to. Game yan si Yoy! And now, these two are having a baby. Reminded me of Jim and Jane's baby. A tiny creature compared to Jim's 6'4 frame and Greek body (I'm quoting you Jim), but Princess Jasmine is now officially ruling the Dwyer house. She has inherited her mother's great smile, and her father's built. We can't wait to see some real pictures of Yoy's baby. Will the baby look Asian or European or the Eurasian great mix?
I only get 50 pictures a month on this blog, so until I get a much larger free internet space, or get ridiculously rich to afford anything in dollars, I'm going to stick to the freeware. Anyway, February is a busy birthday season for my friends. Let me see, Sony on the 5th, Astig on the 8th(what date is it, I remember the 6th o 8th nga ba?), Leng on the 6th, Ate Doris on the 11th, Robert on the 16th, Cathe on the 24th. So I couldn't post my gorgeous friends' pics. Whatever, they will find their way here anyways.
**************************
armi: kuripot ka tange
Astig: kasi nagpapakulo ako ng tubig for coffee
astig: e may sobra yun na rin gamit ko inom
astig: hehehe
armi: ahhh..ok
armi: lusot
armi: hahaha
armi: oo hindi ka kuripot kasi nalibre mo na ako eh. hehehe
astig: wehehehe
astig: nyek
armi: turuan mo ako magkuripot
armi: to be wiser with money
astig: kaya mo yan
astig: isipin mo lang na bawat di mo nagastos
astig: pambayad na yan ng tuition ng anak mo
astig: hahhaha
armi: sira
astig: babae ka kasi
astig: walnag iniisip
armi: ayos..
astig: kung magpa sexy
armi: hahahahahahahahaa
astig: para makabingwit ng lalaki
armi: excuse me may lalake na ako
astig: e lalaki kailangan maraming pera pambili ng chicks
armi: mwahahahaha
astig: hahahha
astig: kulit
astig: ayos

i like astig. manong, pag-igihan ang pag-gym para sa chicks. Happy Birthday.

Postscript: For Jim who found his Jane in the Philippines

This is a postscript to my previous blog "They Just Don't Get It". After conversations with the girlfriends, I apparently caused a chain reaction prompting Jane to talk to her hubby Jim, who of course, freaked out, as no man in his right mind wants to hear,"Can we talk?" when she obviously wants to even if he'd rather be skinned alive. Anyway, Jim later on wrote this in his blog. It is beautifully written. Here it is, in the interest of objectivity, a man's point of view on why they just don't get women.

"Enough about poker, I wanted to write something else today that is important to me. Relationships. When I got home last night my wife wanted to talk. Now any husband or boyfriend out there dreads the words, “can we talk?”, or, “We need to talk.” More often then not you are not going to like the conversation that is about to take place. Anyhow, she wanted to talk about relationships. Ours, relatives, friends, that sort of thing. Normally, she says this when we are in bed and I can instantly fake some snoring to get out of it but she has gotten smarter over the years and caught me when I was wide awake and still dressed and standing.
So the conversation was not so interesting that I feel compelled to write it here. What was more interesting was I thought back to what my Father-in-Law had said to me when he met me for the first time. I had arrived in the Philippines to ask for permission to marry his daughter. After he had gotten to know me a little and we discovered that he and I had so much in common that it was scary, he decided to impart on me some advice. He took me aside one day with no one else there, just him and I.
He said, “Jim, there is one real secret to a happy and healthy marriage. There is one and only one.”
I of course thought I already knew this, having seen clips of Oprah and Dr. Phil on E’s show Talk Soup. I decided to impress my Father-in-Law with my extensive knowledge of the female species. “I know the secret is communication!” I was so proud and thought this would be the end of this conversation and we could talk about things more important like government.
Manny said, “No, communication is important but it is not the secret. The secret is to just do what she says.”
Now I try not to be a Neanderthal here, I was raised better then that, but there is something genetic that gets in the way. Obey?!?!?!?!?! I am not going to let some woman push me around. I am not going to let some woman walk all over me and make me some stupid little puppy!!!! I AM A MAN DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!
He went on to explain, “Just do what she wants. It is just easier for you. You will eat better, you will sleep better and you will have less stress. The truth is son, you are going to do what she wants you to anyway, so eliminate the middle man and just do it. You will have a lot more peace. Besides, I have tried to change me daughter for 28 years and have never been able to do it. I do not think you could either. I know she loves you but do not underestimate the stubbornness of that girl.”
Now, I have to admit that I was surprised and a little bit offended. Surprised because I felt this was a defeatist attitude. We were just giving in to a woman and losing our own right as a man to be dominant! Offended because something deep within me, something that is deep within every guy is the urge to be in control. To be in power and master of all we see. We are taught this from birth. Male dominance is in all forms of education. The church teaches that a woman should obey her husband. They are not even allowed to hold high positions in the church. Television teaches us that women are objects or victims. Men are the ones who swoop into rescue them. When male children see a strong woman on the screen they are often seeing a villain.
So needless to say, I was really taken aback by this statement. I said to myself that this is not the way things will work in my marriage. I will not be walked on or stomped over. So Jane and I were married and the first year we were together was not as pleasant as it could have been. I would like to say it was Jane’s fault but it was not. I was trying so hard to exert my own will on her that I completely overlooked or didn’t care what she wanted. I was just so sure that I was not going to be the one being controlled here.
It was really not until the second year when I had a revelation. I realized the truth in what my Father-in-Law was telling me. He was not saying that I should just be a mindless drone and do whatever she says. He was saying that when you truly love someone, what you want becomes irrelevant. The most important thing is the other person. That when she wants to go to a ballet (thank you Jane for never dragging me to one) and you want to go anywhere else in the world that when you look at the big picture, a few hours at something you find boring and tedious is nothing when compared to the happiness and bliss it brings to the one you love. That fighting over trivial matters is meaningless and petty. All it dose is make you feel more and more defensive and angry. That the most important secret to a long and happy marriage is not a question of dominance and submissiveness but one of caring and understanding. Letting your petty thoughts and your misconceptions about gender go and focus on the one true thing that is important to you.
This makes sense to anyone who has known Jane’s parents. They had a long and happy marriage and they did something I have not seen in the states, or at least seen rarely. They live together happy until death did them part. Her Dad was not a mindless drone to her Mom. However, there is nothing in the world that he would not do for his wife. I strive everyday to live up to that ideal.
The secret to a long and happy marriage is love and caring for one another. I get it now."

Postcript to a Postscript: I was one of the many people who witnessed how Tito Manny loved his wife. We have always wondered how a mom can look so happy, so beautiful and elegant. Tito Manny never failed to show his wife how he loved her. In front of his kids, and in front of his kid's friends. He let her shine. He let her manage her own business, drive on her own, have active roles in organizations -civic or social. He let her have a life of her own. To us onlookers it looked like he spoiled her. Now I understand. He let her enjoy life. She was happy, and he was happy she was happy. Til the day he died.

Yoy and Robert

Congratulations Yoy and Robert. I'm sure your kid is going to be gorgeous. You know, I think yours is the best wedding invite I've seen. Just lovely.
"When it feels right, it is right," says Robert.
As good as any a wedding vow:
Robert: " I cannot imagine a happier journey than going with Yoy..anywhere"
Yoy: "Robert is a blockhead. But I like blockheads."
Guess who is the more romantic. Real excited to see your baby, well if it's a July baby, she's going to be a beauty. Hehe.

Dear Ysa

Dear Ysa,
Your Nanay emailed me last week telling me how you have grown but you still only weighed in at 8 kilos, and she was worried that you needed to eat more. I told your Nanay that your Ninangs and Ninongs will be visiting soon. It’s too bad your ninongs and ninangs only get to see you only once or twice a year, as we are at one time or another stationed in another country. We never seem to get hold of each other, and when we are gathered together, it is enough reason to celebrate. So like your fairy godmothers and godfathers, we came last week to your house, bringing gifts and lots of love. We were disarmed by your charming smile. You were as precocious as any one year old baby, playing peek-a-boo and smiling while Ninang Consuelo read with Ate Yobel and Ninong Sony (oh how your Nanay missed Ninong Sony) and Ninong Robert looked on.

It seemed only yesterday when your Nanay married your Tatay. We were all there too. In fact I was there when your Nanay first went out on a date with your Tatay. Not exactly there, but we met her up before her date with your Tatay. We were at Wendy’s, we ordered fries and fudge sundae, held our hands and prayed before eating, after which two men asked us what our religion was (just because we prayed before eating). Then Nanay’s eyes were sparkling, shimmering and splendid while she talked about meeting her date. They knew each other in college, they were both in CYA, but your Nanay was hooked up with somebody else all through college. In fact, we thought your Nanay would end up with him, but God had other plans. After leaving Nagano in 1996, your Nanay, who usually weighed less than 90 lbs, gained weight and had ample red cheeks when we landed at NAIA. She lost this weight sooner than expected and before we knew it, God has led her to a new path. A wonderful, joyful path that brought you and Ate Yobel into this world.

Look at your Nanay, she was so beautiful as she walked down the aisle. You could see she had fullness of joy in her heart. In fact, your Nanay was singing her heart out to the Lord during the marriage rite.
But who would not? She had a fairy tale then, and when we met her 6, almost 7 years after that wedding, she is still living a fairy tale. When you are old enough to speak, ask Nanay to tell you her story, it is the best fairy tale you’ll ever hear, and the best part is, it’s all true. She is as in love, more in love with your Tatay than before. Your Tatay is more gwapo than ever for your Nanay for he has continuously led a life following God's will. With the Lord at the center of their marriage, and their lives, there is, indeed a happily ever after.

Trailblazer

I was still a child and she was already driving her own car. When she chose to live independently, she went to Singapore while I was still working at the Japanese factory in Canlubang. Years later, I lived in Tokyo while she packed her bags in Singapore and went back to Alabang. After 6 months in Japan, I did the same and went back to work in Ortigas. By the time I had my own car, she was in graduate school, and one day, called to tell me she was going to tell C that she is going to New York and that she loved him, even if things were difficult for them. She did, even if C's secretary wouldn't take her calls so when I told her to go after the man she loves, she just drove from Alabang to Greenhills to tell him that, and flew off to New York. In a month's time, C followed her in New York and then to Canada.

You see, Lei is always one step ahead of us. She would make her mark and blaze a trail. Not that she wanted to, she just did what she wanted and in the process inspired others to find out who they are and be the best they could be. At least she had that effect on me. She's almost like a man, practical, rational and ambitious. But in the same sense, she's the modern woman because she pursued open doors and opportunities without thinking that she's a woman, or that it mattered if she was a woman, a Filipina at that.

Seven years after I last saw her, we kept in touch through emails and instant messengers and Friendster. After all, she's a friend worth keeping, and friends keep in touch in spite of the distance. Now she's been to the Bahamas, Europe, navigated the United States, and is now working on a new career path. A tough act to follow, indeed so I just made sure I drove all the way from work on a traffic-jammed December weekday all the way to Alabang to see her. She's my friend. She has made me shine, supported my journeys, shared my success or setbacks, loved the people I loved, and made me think a woman's life is best lived if we just did. Live life the best way we could, that is.

Thanks Lei, for the inspiration. Remember our parting words," Whenever, wherever!" Love you!