A Lesson For Marilou

We sit in class enraptured by the lines read by each one, all full of emotions, and sometimes ending in tears. Here we are, strangers in the room, baring ourselves, sometimes letting go of feelings so raw, you almost cry in empathy. Sometimes we'd all errupt in laughter, closing our eyes while we listen as the words are read, and it is played out in our minds. Sometimes, when a good vignette is read, we clap our hands, and people remark, sigh, "that was good." I realized this class is not just about writing, but about journeys in life taken by each of the participant, and we are witnesses, as each recurring theme of our lives slowly reveal itself as the weeks go on. This is for Marilou, who is more heartbroken than me, struggling to keep afloat, as her writing keeps leading her back to Frank, her husband, whom she recently lost. She is unsure how to go on with life, with young kids and not enough experience with life's struggles to be really confident that she can make it alone. This is also for Susan, who chose to stay in a marriage that is keeping her hungry for self expression. We have 3 guys in class, a Dentsu advertising guy, a 60 something doctor, an 18 year old boy who is so full of angst and we all think there's something wrong with him, a 24 year old virgin, a married woman with 3 kids whose poem is about Maybe I'll Lose Weight, another twentysomething girl who also seems restless and is in transition, and my favorite, Tita Nida who writes about Growing Old means Growing Soft (she promised to send me this one so i can share with you), and Maybe If I'm Thin I'll be Mean..

I think there will be more arguments next time in class, and yes, even more tears. In the meantime, I dedicate this to my classmate, Marilou.

(A Lesson on Letting Go)

i say letting go is a hard thing to do.
without preparation or lesson in life--
when something goes beyond your control,
you have no choice, but to let go.

cry if you must, til the tears run dry;
it comes in waves, sometimes leaving you gasping for breath
as if life sucked you off its energy,the spirit and the will
to move on, but you must

let go. Don't look back.
don't hold on to the joys of the past.
just remember, re-live, only for a moment, for the chapter has ended,
and everyone awaits til you can rejoin the world again.

in the meantime, let go, have hope,
forgive, even yourself, trusting and believing
that you can do it- be alone, in control, and happy.
let go, have faith.

let go when you're ready. Let time take its course
as you weave through emotions, trying to understand,
asking all the questions, and trying to make sense of it all,
whenever you're ready, that's the best time to let go.

i say letting go is a hard thing to do.
but try anyway.