30Something Thinking

distract me,
talk to me about anything, something
confuse me, silence me
with your words,
swirling thoughts...

Before I could get distracted by myself, my call master message tone beeps.

M:12 hours of alcohol. Fun. If i were still in college. Fuckit.

Me: So you're lasing and texting me huh. I'm trying desperately to distract myself from calling the ex

M: Fuckit. Yoko na uminom. And no, october is best spent with non exes. So zip it. ü

Me: Am seated at the throne, writing,nothing coming out (of the writing, and the throne). I just want a dreamless uninterrupted sleep m. Is that too much to ask? Maybe if I drown myself with wine I can. I will.

Me: I'm not calling him or seeing him. It's the brain, confused from lack of sleep. Why am I so stupid when it comes to men? Powtah,gimme some of that beer..

M: Try staring into black empty space.

Me: I definitely have the wrong cd on. Sade will not lead me to black empty space

M: 30mins worth lang of a playlist ha.

Me: Dude bakit may time limit?

M: At the 31st min tulog ka nyan.

M: Try Portishead. ü (the "obscure" CD I asked him to burn for me- a collection of songs from unknown artists. Turns out I have a cd of portishead circa 1998.)

Me: Its not working. And portishead leads me to an abyss. I don't get them. Hahaha

M: Not getting them is good. If you're able to relate, you process. Otherwise its just ambient noise. Take it from a recovering insomniac.

Me: But it is noise. Like the dead calling out to some poor soul to come join them in the abyss.

M: Hehe. U wanted obscure. ü

Me: My lullaby songs these days are Apo-the Original Hit Songs, 10 Years Together and Banda Rito. But my heart is thumping now.

M: Apo! Pakshet thought provoking. As bad as the Hotdogs and VST and Co...For best effect I listen to lounge music. With the subwoof to full.

Me: Nah. Bores me with their sing songy melody. But when I'm awake I love them. Is that weird?

M: Not at all!

Me: Pare for someone who's lasing, your grammar and spelling are still ok. You're very coherent. Inum ka pa

M: You're monitoring my grammar?!

Me: Relax. There's nothing wrong with it.

Me: Ahh. I get it. He's (the ex, there, drinking) with you.

M: Ha! Am with a girl.

Me: Uhmnnnn..then why are you texting me. Panget yan noh.

M: Sos. I do it under the table.

Me: Ok, boring sya. Maganda sya pero boring sya.

M: Korek.

Me: Hahaha. Kakatawa ka. That's good though. Am totally distracted.

****
This is my friend M, who, somehow, ends up texting me when he's drunk, or thinking of getting drunk. Then he disappears...into the abyss once more. I like his short appearances, though. Stimulating.