Yes, it is too soon. But I want to focus on happy thoughts today. I spent the entire night tossing and turning again. After a very relaxing full body massage that left me knocked out, I paid my therapist and led her out my door, and when I got back to my bed, my heart went thump-thump-thump-thump, and my breathing shallow and faster. It's crazy and all night I had out of this world dreams, like this one: my sister died, and right after she died, I did, and I said something like this, "Don't worry, I will see you soon, " while her white casket was being laid to the ground and I was in the next casket.
Then I dreamed about him again, and he was here, and he was like the nowhere man. I kept trying to talk to him,and he would move on, then he was telling me he is staying but he has no future. It's crazy I tell you, and it is symptomatic of what is running in my mind. I feel guilty letting go- somehow I feel like I should try to rebuild it, but I already made up my mind. On the other hand, the other option leaves me hanging in the air both with anticipation and sadness.
So it is in this spirit that I am going to go away again. This is a wishlist. And this is my space, right?
1. Bruce Springsteen's new album Magic. Did you see him and the E Street Band on the today show? Unbelievable. He is a genius. The Boss!
2. A trip somewhere. (out of the country again). Wait, ok, somewhere I can watch the Spice Girls reunion concert in Dec 07 to Jan 08 (madrid, hongkong, london was sold out in 38 secs, shanghai,etc). Isn't it shameful to admit I'm such a huge fan? Posh eversince, even if she couldn't be heard, she certainly had the best legs(and the wits to marry David Beckham)
3. A trip to Bora with friends Sony and Cie. Yes, just the three of us, and it will be fabulous. Yes, yes, you can split when you eye someone, ok, so no sharing of rooms.
4. New sets of underwear, tops and minidresses (since when did we have a seasonal change of wardrobe huh?)
5. A really good eye cream.
6. Weigh in at 95 lbs. HAHAHAHAHA. Even I find this hilarious.
7. Continue my badminton game 4x a week (hey I need a pay raise to sustain this, I can not say I'm broken hearted still and continue to spend recklessly)
8. Hillary Clinton wins.
9. Everyone gets their pay increase, including me. Yey.
10. I get an MTRCB pass. HAHAHA. A movie buddy, yes.
11. A mac after I give my Lifebook to Jeru. (dream on!)
12. Digital photo frame
13. Wall painting (shades of red)
14. Big Runo Mirror from Lonely Planet
15. new soft bedsheets and pillows
16. Green tea home oil fragrance , smells really good aromatherapy with tealight candles
Ok I will update from time to time depending on my need to escape. Hachi-hari-bu!
As the Japanese say, eat until you're 80% full. I've got my fill for today. Somebody owes me dinner!
Cheers!
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