Don't Settle, Don't Rush

(Who Needs A Shrink When You Have Friends)

D: Aarg. How was your day? Hopefully better than mine.
A: Girl, while you're sipping your lemonade, lounging on a hammock,thinking of a happy ending for me, I am trying NOT to think too much.Galing timing text mo, was thinkng of you...
I think alam mo kakausap ko sa yo nakatulong to deal with the realities of the break-up. There's a 50% chance that he'd dump me again, and how many people can take that? If I crash again, please allow me to cry to you again ha. (How so Sex in the City, when Carrie ended up seeing Mr.Big again! Hey, Miranda's a lawyer-soon-to-be-partner too, and yes, i'm Carrie Bradshaw, sort of a writer, money going to shoes, and broken engagement,yep,that's me )
D:Ha ha. Sure thing girl. Am the queen of heartbreak. I take all heartbreak seriously. He may or may not return, yes, so just deal as if he's not coming back.Even then just trust that one day you wil find yourself somewhere nice, when all is right.
A: That's a nice thing to say; nice and practical.
D:You know why? Because its true. That this too shall pass. Everything passes. All is "for now".Pain, happiness, health, sickness, love, sex, they're all for now. Except for taxes, which are forever. =)
A: You know what I realized just now? I'd like to help alleviate poverty, that seems like my heart's mission. Everytime I see a young person peddling Max candies (I'm in retail,so I know there's no money with a bilao of candies), or men carrying bed matresses, appliances on their shoulders much like a carabao toils on a farm. I wince then I offer a prayer for that person that the Lord blesses them,because they try. I wish I could do something, but all I can do is to do better at my job each day so we can open more stores, provide more jobs.
D: I think tama yang thinking na yan. Dont worry there are still noble souls around like you who can probably change the world..
A: No..it's not like that. I don't have the energy.. I think my life is going to be a life of mediocrity...
D:Am waiting for my takeout food.Meanwhile, a thought has entered my mind- why is it that I still have not come to a decision to marry? I know for sure that if I lose W.L. I would be devastated. Why dont I want people who want me but only seem to want them when they leave?
A: Firstly, I really don't understand why you haven't decided on him yet. As in. (Maybe you don't want to settle?). Second point, you can't love him and want someone else whom you're not even sure you like. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
D: As for L, that was the risk you took in calling him.Like it or not,mapapaasa ka esp since he said what he said.As for what he has done,at this point in your life all you have to decide is whether you can forgive him. As for me, its not about another guy. Its about me.Always afraid to change things.
A: You don't seem like that. You seem to know what you want. Di bale, no rush. Give yourself some time. Don't settle, don't rush. Actually for me, dami lessons learned. Dealing with failure, humility, realizing the value of friends and family, being closer to God, holding onto hope instead of misery, knowing how to empathize, understanding others, knowing what true love entails...
D: Yeah. That's right. Don't settle, don't rush. Tama. Ü

As I imagine her desk filled with legal documents she has to process til midnight while taking her dinner at 9pm, I think she's wrong about her life of mediocrity (she said that too)-she's going to actually earn loads of money and make her mark in this part of the world.

As for me, I consider this the biggest trial, the biggest failure of my life, and yet somehow I find comfort that yes, this too, shall pass. I have been resisting, living in fear about an unknown future. Though a single life, if it's a life of conscious and wonderful choices, can't be too bad, I am more concerned about each day, today. I will survive. I have to survive each day. I began to learn to quelch some of my fears, starting to understand what God is trying to say:

"Sometimes, what I know is best is different than what you think of as 'best'. My best means more brokenness, more compassion, more understanding of others, more humility. All of these qualities are part of My best in your life. Unless you let Me work in your life, fulfilling the conditions of loving Me and yielding to My will, My purpose in your life- I will begin to work on your behalf. No matter what mess you find yourself in, when you love Me and yield to My purpose in your life, I am able to turn all things for your good."

Yes, don't settle, dont rush.