Top 30

Dear Divina,

Well, here it is. I applaud you for being my number 1 support system in the Philippines (the other top notch is Ime, who is in Malaysia). I know how crazy your schedule is, and that there are other things occupying your mind, but we are kindred spirits, and I thank you for your precious time. I am indebted and will forever be grateful for you rallying up my spirits.

Ime asked me to write a book about this experience, a guide to getting over a broken heart. We should! We can do it in a He says, she says, or in a top 40 format. I am not embarrased to admit that I turn to the internet when a dilemma hits me. I google everything,as I know most people do. There is actually a book out there, but we like open source, so here it is. These are NOT my questions, these are questions culled from the internet. Fire away. Answer it in your own style. I will too.
Note: This has nothing to do with the ex- and everything to do with you!

1. What are the 10 steps to healing from a relationship breakup?
2. How can you avoid staying stuck in your pain after a break up?
3. What should you do in order to heal when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about you?
4. What are some tricks for dealing with the fear and low self-esteem that comes as a result of a relationship breakup?
5. What are the best ways to deal with the pain caused by fear of failure after the break up?
6. What do you do if you are feeling like a failure because of the breakup?
7. How do you replace pain with possibility and positive thoughts after a relationship breakup?
8. How can you understand why you may have stayed too long?

9. How do you readjust to not having that person in your life anymore?
10. What is the single biggest mistake you should not make after going through a break up if you want to heal?
11. How can you find new meaning in your life after a relationship breakup?
12. How do you deal with trying to forgive and forget when you are still hurting so much?
13. How can you see your part in the break up without beating yourself up?
14. Why is "letting go" so essential if you are going to move from where you are now to having a happy, healthy and more joyful life?
15. What are most powerful questions you should ask yourself to help you with the letting go process?
16. How do you deal with all the "what ifs" and "should haves" that pop into your mind after a break up?
17. How do you stop yourself from thinking that you could have done more to save the relationship?
18. How do you know when it is no longer beneficial to continue to dissect what went right and what went wrong and whether you should have stayed or not?
19. How do you give up the feeling that you have been robbed of your future because of the break up?
20. How do you let go of someone you thought you'd be with for the rest of your life?
21. How do you get your previous partner out of your head when you are in bed trying to get to sleep?
22. How do you get over a relationship when you still have a strong feeling that that person is your soul mate?
23. How do you get over the guilt now that the relationship has ended?

24. What is the fastest and most efficient way to learn to forgive the other person and yourself after the breakup?
25. How do you get closure if he or she won't talk to you?
26. How do you deal with the fear of the unknown while keeping optimistic and confident about your future after a break up?
27. What is the single biggest thing you'll need to do in order to move on after a break up?
28. How long should you wait after a break up to get into another relationship?
29. How do you keep past hurts in the past and keep them from ruining new relationships?
30. When do you know that you've truly let go, moved on and found the answer to the lesson to be learned from your past relationship?