Answers Part Deux

From another friend. This is a good read.
1. What are the 10 steps to healing from a relationship breakup?
Praying works best for me at each step ... whatever those steps are.
2. How can you avoid staying stuck in your pain after a break up?
Believing that there is a reason and meaning to everything that happened.
3. What should you do in order to heal when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about you?
Acknowledge the thoughts and then know that those are just what they are - thoughts and not reality. Or simply replace those thoughts with a countdown of your favorite food ...
4. What are some tricks for dealing with the fear and low self-esteem that comes as a result of a relationship breakup?
thinking of past achievements and planning for what else i want to accomplish. putting extra effort at work and adding value to whatever comes my way.
5. What are the best ways to deal with the pain caused by fear of failure after the break up?
sleep, sleep and more sleep.
6. What do you do if you are feeling like a failure because of the breakup?
feelings are like thoughts. see answer to number #3
7. How do you replace pain with possibility and positive thoughts after a relationship breakup?
you mean there is another way than thinking positive?
8. How can you understand why you may have stayed too long?
by giving up the need to understand.
9. How do you readjust to not having that person in your life anymore?
by going on with your life as usual ... i don't remember actually, i just fell into a whole new fabulous routine/life of travel and leisure.
10. What is the single biggest mistake you should not make after going through a break up if you want to heal?
call the Ex.
11. How can you find new meaning in your life after a relationship breakup?
i created the meaning, it's an ongoing process.
12. How do you deal with trying to forgive and forget when you are still hurting so much?
by knowing that forgiving is about you not anyone else
13. How can you see your part in the break up without beating yourself up?
by knowing that i did my best
14. Why is "letting go" so essential if you are going to move from where you are now to having a happy, healthy and more joyful life?
two choices, being stuck or letting go. no brainer!
15. What are most powerful questions you should ask yourself to help you with the letting go process?
DO I WANT TO CONTINUE WITH MY LIFE? Hell, yes of course!
16. How do you deal with all the "what ifs" and "should haves" that pop into your mind after a break up?
by not wasting my time dealing with it.
17. How do you stop yourself from thinking that you could have done more to save the relationship?
by sleeping.
18. How do you know when it is no longer beneficial to continue to dissect what went right and what went wrong and whether you should have stayed or not?
it was never beneficial.
19. How do you give up the feeling that you have been robbed of your future because of the break up?
by not taking the role of the victim or the loser.
20. How do you let go of someone you thought you'd be with for the rest of your life?
by knowing that i want to be treated the same way if i were in his shoes.
21. How do you get your previous partner out of your head when you are in bed trying to get to sleep?
think of work instead. i remember trying to learn how to set-up sunmicro machines in the cleanroom to monitor the furnace.
22. How do you get over a relationship when you still have a strong feeling that that person is your soul mate?
wait til you've lost that love and feeling he he.
23. How do you get over the guilt now that the relationship has ended?
guilt trips are a waste of time so i never took the guilt trips. i did my best, i know that for sure.
24. What is the fastest and most efficient way to learn to forgive the other person and yourself after the breakup?
by knowing that forgiving is about you not anyone else. makes it easier that way.
25. How do you get closure if he or she won't talk to you?
i didn't require closure. is that strange?
26. How do you deal with the fear of the unknown while keeping optimistic and confident about your future after a break up?
facing the future head on, knowing that i am well-equipped to thrive in whatever circumstances that may come my way.
27. What is the single biggest thing you'll need to do in order to move on after a break up?
stop acting like a victim and expecting to get a "poor-baby" sympathy. everyone has problems; things happen, it's not the end of the world. Get over it.
28. How long should you wait after a break up to get into another relationship?
a new guy came along. i went for it. life is short!
29. How do you keep past hurts in the past and keep them from ruining new relationships?
by not comparing.
30. When do you know that you've truly let go, moved on and found the answer to the lesson to be learned from your past relationship?
when the memories of what happened don't make me cry anymore and realizing that i thrived inspite of; also when i started being thankful and acknowledging what a charmed life i have.