Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Answers (email me for your contribution)

Let's hear it from friends, readers, who shall remain nameless regarding their thoughts and comments on these:
1. What are the 10 steps to healing from a relationship breakup?
A: Mourning. Cry at night, day, loudly, quietly, alone, amongst friends, inside the comfort room cube, at your desk, on the phone with a friend, on the shoulder of a friend, to your mom, cry when you remember the places you have been to, at the music, the scent, anything that reminds you of your lost love, just let it flow. Cry for your loss, the uncertainties, the fears. You will start to deny things at first, and then hope, but that is still part of it. Then comes picking up the pieces of your self, your shattered self esteem. You will ask and try to understand, but you can't and mustn't. I read a lot of stuff to help me get through thi trial, and i prayed unceasingly to help me regain my center. When you can talk about it, you have moved to the next step. Then you should focus on yourself- what do you want? Ask yourself this hard question, then just do it. Keep yourself busy. That's the rest of the 10 steps. I did yoga, im taking docent training course, next weekend badminton course, and i still have a long list to consider (diving! travel!).
Lei:I know I’ve truly let go when:
- Ill wishes for the ex were replaced with good and sincere ones. Okay, I’m not playing saint here. It took me a while to realize that if anything, I should only wish the person well. After all, he’s been a part of a big chunk of my prime years. One way or the other, he’s played a role in who I became today. And I like the person I am now -- wiser, stronger and better in many ways.
- Old pictures, places and songs associated with the ex make me smile instead of cry. Smile in a way that makes me feel how I’ve grown since.
- referring to the ex is by first name again rather than “jerk” or “loser”.

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