'Tis the season to be merry, the season of cheers and holly, and... the year-ender review. I look back at the year that has gone by so swiftly; sometimes it seems the year is getting shorter, but that can't be. The day still starts in the morning, the night ends at 12, and there are still 365 of those days. Yet here I am, again just a bit older.
What has the universe taught me this year? What have I given back that allowed me to move forward? Have I? Was I grateful or wasteful? Generous or self-serving? What lessons did I learn? Here are some of my lessons learned in 2007.
Be free. I will pursue my dreams, set my goals and will be driven to achieve them. The universe has its resources available for me. I really do believe in dreams, especially that each individual has a right to be the best he/she can be. This year, when I finally took the courses I wanted, I felt more alive. I had a history and art class, I was really into active sports. I had a very productive, creative and indeed joyful writing class, when years ago, I was just laying on my bed, unable to move on Saturdays, thinking of all the things I wanted to do.
Conversely, I can not force anyone, most of all, the people whom I love dearly, to do things just because I want them to. They have a right to their own happiness, and accepting that is understanding a person's fundamental right to choose. This results to tragedy because in the end, when we choose to ignore other people's right to happiness, and continue to hear nothing other than the sound of our own voice, we will hurt the people whom we love the most, in effect, cutting ourselves deep in pain and sorrow.
To love yourself is to know yourself. To love God is to show an earnest desire to explore our best selves, in order to give back. We can not succeed if we are not authentic. All our colors and shades make us who we are. As long as I desire to persevere and be passionate in my world, I will inspire, and I will succeed. God is pleased when He sees me try. Yes, that's what makes our kind the chosen ones to inherit the world.
To be truly happy, one must be soft and hard, strong and weak. Embrace the wind that whispers something in the ears, take the punches that life throws, be grateful for the lessons that the roads lead to. There must be grace in acceptance, courage to go on in spite the battle-weary heart, body or mind, and yes, hope, that flickering light that may lead to a spark, the spark that will burn doubts to the ground and lead to chasing rainbows, until finally I find myself sipping coffee and smelling yellow carnations, surrounded by soft cushions and jazz music (my Starbucks version of heaven).
Time is an intangible wealth. I can not possess it, and all I can do is to be fully present. Time is my gift to you. When I choose to be with you, you have all of me, and though it is hard to be fully engaged with all the worldly distractions, you deserve it, because I chose to be with you.
Life is best lived with the people around us, surrounding ourselves with love of friends, family, our community, the people who form, formally or informally, our support group. Let us be grateful for the lessons we learn from their lives, the moments they made us laugh,live, love,eat. They make living worthwhile.
To move forward, I must ask what lessons have I learned? Why am I here again? What should I do? How can I be better? I want to do better.
To grow, I will listen to people, hear their stories, listen to their music, read their books, listen, really listen when they speak, and bite my lips, so my spirit can understand, and my heart can remember. There are some real superhumans who can taste words, see colors when they hear music, and draw with blind eyes. My heart can see, when when my mind is open and I choose to feel. I see a vision from music, get pictures and all sorts of feelings from words. With words or music, I am transported somewhere, elsewhere, at a different time, in a different season.
'Tis the season to be merry, the season of cheers and holly. Tonight, it is winter but it is not cold.
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