Close Encounter

My appointment with the famed geomancer is at 2:30 PM. I waited for an hour after a Chinese couple sporting a BMW consulted about their business and properties. I was there curious, not knowing what to expect or to ask. I did have a few questions, but I was not expecting my fortune to be told or my past to haunt me.

Located in Brgy.Pio del Pilar in Makati, there are no tell-tale signs of geomancy as I rang the doorbell outside his house. If a Mini-Cooper and a Volvo outside the door are the fruits of being a master of Chinese esoteric sciences studies, it sounds like a rewarding practice. The wife greets me as I walk in on my friends (we scheduled a 30-minute session each with the professor). I looked around the first floor of the house which was converted into an office. Awards and business registrations are on the walls, and shelves of books line the other half of the room. Bulol artworks stand beside Chinese pieces, as books on dogs are in the same shelf as Chinese reference materials. The numerous articles and photos regarding the professor’s works are showcased on the shelves as well. The room is airy, full of light and clean, in spite of the 2 dogs (a Chihuahua and a shihtzu) running around the room.

The professor started with a lecture on what Feng Shui is. How we, humans, are like cars on the road of life. Some are brand new, some are second hand, but how it performs depends on how we take care of “it”. The car is only good if parts are complete, and if not properly maintained, it will not last. Some are born rich (i.e. brand new), some are so-so. The time, date and place of birth differentiates one person from the other. With such information, one’s destiny is read, and guidelines are given. Hmn. Can’t say I believe all this, but here is what the professor had to say about me.
He starts reading my numbers with his eyeglasses, brings out his magnifying lens and proceeds to discuss what the charts say.

Year: Wooden Tiger (wood) Day: Earth House (Fire) Month: Metal Goat (earth) Time: Metal monkey (metal)

All in all, 2 wood elements, 1 fire, 2 earth, 3 metals. No water element.

“You are very intelligent. Not just intelligent, but very intelligent. You are frank, may sumpong, kasi wala water eh. Hot- gusto mo tapos agad maski ano bagay gawa, impatient, and you are trustworthy. Pwede paka-tiwala.. You like to read, maaral ka, creative. With lucky “survivor” star! Kung ikaw sundalo, di ka mapapatay sa laban. Sa eroplano, barko, wala problema. Pero may kapalit yon. Ang kahoy pano mabubuhay kung wala tubig? Natutuyo. No roots, no foundation. Pwede magsuffer lovelife. Dali hiwalay sa asawa kundi ka ingat o alaga. Ang nunal sa ilalim ng mata mo, sign na pwede mauna magreport agad asawa mo (turo sa taas). Asawa mo dapat may water sign para hindi ganun mangyari.. ”

” Ang birthday po ng boyfriend ko--“ (Actually my questions are centered on whether toot toot and I are compatible, I’ve read about wooden tigers and these are typical descriptions of us. I was surprised about the widow thing because of the mole, well, not really. Old people say don’t let tears run on this side of the face or I’ll lose a husband. Then my train of thought led to Dr. Melvin, my derma, who has been bugging me about removing this mole. I wonder, would the charts be different if I showed up with no mole and a microdermabrassioned face?)

“Teka, ” he interjects like I’m ruining his concentration. “PRAYER WILL ENHANCE MORE POWER. You pray every morning…“ I watch him as he writes the word PRAYER in another sheet, cuts it, puts paste at the back of the sheet and pastes this tiny piece of paper on my information sheet, where he has been writing. Apparently, he misspelled it the first time. The professor is very OC on this, as he also underlines and highlights words for emphasis, using blue for normal writing and red to mark a point.

“O, your kidneys and ovaries are weak. Water therapy is needed. You drink three glasses of water every morning pagkagising. You do this para yung energy na nawala sa pagtulog, inum tubig, bago na naman. Hindi pwede after toothbrush, wala na effect yon,” and he proceeds to show me how big a gulp I should take with a glass of water beside him. “ Your father, parati hindi ninyo kasama ano? Parati umaalis?”You were born past three, that means you have 1 or 2 brothers, tama? “ That I did not expect. He was right. On both counts.

“ O, you are wearing white, your lucky color is red or bright. Mga red o pink, ganun.
Pwede ka suot Hawaiian prints gaya Mayor Atienza. Wag suot solid white o blue o black. Pwede combine white-blue, ganon..” (Nooooo-I don’t like prints. I love my blacks, whites, and plains. ) “You are wearing a ruby ring, that is good, that is your lucky stone. If you will buy a car, you choose plate with numbers 1,2,3,4, 9 or 0. “

He then asks for toot toot’s birthdate, time and proceeds to count- earth, metal, 3 water elements. He seemed relieved that he had an abundance of water elements. He writes , “ Lack of patience. Be careful in selecting friends.” He looks up from his magnifying lens and tells me,” Wala problema. Ma-kaka-tuluyan kayo. This year o next year pakasal na kayo. Eto, magagandang dates. June next year! Gusto mo ba Saturday o Sunday?.. “ He then takes a yellow pad from his mount of papers beside the desk. The pad is lined, with columns of numbers, again in red and blue ink. With his magnifying lens, he leafs through the pages, muttering to himself, “Yes…no, di pwede.” He turns from one page to the other, going back and forth before telling me the dates he thinks I should get married.

“ May 13 or 28, but do not enter the church between 3-5PM. June 18 ok din..June 25 all day except 5-7 AM..ok lang wala kasal ganun oras…December 3 (except 3-5PM), Dec 23 (except 7-9)..” (How can I think of dates? Am I kidding myself? I don’t even know where I’ll spend my next Friday night.)

“Your destiny-- ”

Natigagal ako sa salitang yon. Hindi masyado ginagamit ang salitang iyon, ang destiny. Ano kaya ang sasabihin nya?

Well, that my friend, is something I’d like to keep for myself. Suffice to say that the good professor need not look on his magnifying lens to tell me that I will be fine, wala problema.