I Do. I Did. Now What?

These days, everyone asks me how it is like to be married.

I haven't quite figured out a way to answer it. Each time I get asked this question, sometimes people answer it themselves, or they hang on every word. Sometimes L and I answer at the same time, sometimes with the same answer. Sometimes only one of us answer. Sometimes we just smile.

"Pareho lang ba?" (Is it just the same?)

Everyone wants to know if anything has changed. Maybe they don't really want to know and are just being polite, but I thought about it one night while I was busying myself with two books, a muted TV show at the background, and my stew quietly simmering. I still pursue so many things at the same time, I still have my own thoughts and endless lists. He has the same sense of humor and languid weekend disposition. We have bills to pay, stress from work, dreams of travel; we share chores and debts, as well as savings and ...long-term goals. Yes, we actually started sharing with each other our goals and are consciously spending more time between friends and families.

The truth is, it's been peaceful, light and more fun (ok don't kill me). We rarely fight, as if (finally) the score has been settled. We poke fun at each other for gaining weight and continue to shower each other with warm thoughts and kind words. (Cheesy ba?)We continue to support each other's goals and dreams as if life depended on it. We laugh out loud; we laugh more often.


Sometimes I forget, but I remind myself I have to think about what he wants before making a decision (Should I buy the shoes or just hide my loot in my bag? LOL. Actually more ordinary stuff like what kind of food will I cook). He swore he won't forget that I will be the first one he will share his good news with, and that he can't omit or hide big purchases (I know someone who hid his Macbook from his wife and kept it in the trunk of the car for months- of course she discovered it; someone with a big shoe collection, someone with a Vespa collection). I removed my Sunday badminton game to spend more time with him on weekends, and he was willing to sit through Eclipse with me (Eclipse was terrible, but he is NOW willing to try a chick flick every now and then instead of just watching only action movies on the big screen). There is a lot more of sharing that the only danger I see is losing one's self by giving in to what the other wants. But then we know that won't happen as we married late and we both love our individuality. He has his thing and I have mine.

We just have to get to it soon, as more often it just feels more comfortable to cuddle on lazy Sunday afternoons.



*Book title by Jenny Lee